You've heard it before, "I just never thought it would happen to me". We say this when we win the lottery, and when we're struck with tragedy. "Time flies. You'll regret that when you're older. Kids grow up so fast. No church is perfect. People will let you down." All true. And yet, somehow, we… Continue reading When They Leave You, God is There
Absolutely. Yes. Everyday. Words synonymous with meditate are contemplate, deliberate, muse, think, consider, reflect, concentrate. Basically, things we do on a daily basis anyways. So why the negative stereotype (in the minds of western christians, at least) with the word meditation? Well, as is the case with most stereotypes, there is misunderstanding and lack of… Continue reading Should Christians Meditate?
That's probably a laughable title. Who celebrates sobriety after just three days? And not even three total days, but two total days and half of a third? An addict does. That's who. What am I addicted to? Myself, mostly. Well, to be more precise I'm addicted to pleasing myself through a few specific indulgences, the… Continue reading Three Days Sober
The Christian life can be rather difficult. With all the hard demands of the bible, loving thy neighbor and such, it often seems to me that it is much easier to give the impression of godliness rather than doing the hard work of godliness. So to help whosoever would desire some guidance in these endeavors,… Continue reading A Brief Guide to Self-Righteousness
The Phone The phone rings, caller known or unknown it doesn't matter, and I stare at the screen terrified to answer. I can't do it. I can't talk to people right now. I can't make a voice. And what if they need something? What if I have to go outside? I can't do it. I'll… Continue reading The Battle
1I've been walking along this road beginning as far back as I remember. In fact if you asked me when this Walk began I might say, "It's all I've known, so much so that I didn't realize I was upon it until just now." 2And now that you've mentioned it, I can't help but notice.… Continue reading The Road
Some days I feel rather in control of my life. Take Monday for example. I laughed a lot on that day. I gathered wood and built a tree house in a video game. I drank a perfect medium roast hazelnut coffee with just a splash of cream. I read C.S. Lewis and St. Paul. I… Continue reading Responsibility Meets Chemistry, But Where?
Two Years It was two summers ago I began seeing a counselor by happenstance. I continued seeing him because he noticed and started to uproot a vast and complex series of issues I struggled to keep the lid on since my pubescent years. Well, maybe not struggled, because I thought I was doing a pretty… Continue reading Two Years, One Lesson.
I've never experienced a moment wherein I was not moving closer to my death. There's a funny thing about common sense. No matter how common it might be, it seems sometimes it can take years or decades to have the information sink and and have it's effect. I don't know when the average person's brain… Continue reading My Life is Almost Over.
We all know the power of apology. Words carefully crafted into a caring confession of contriteness can graft life to a grievously wounded heart. But the inverse is true as well. A careless apology stands to cause as much harm as the original offense (or more) by magnifying in the hurt mind the first offense… Continue reading Learning to Apologize the Right Way.
This is an infinitely complex subject with so many variables and so much nuance that in order to write anything about it, I need to keep my focus incredibly narrow. This means I will inevitably gloss over vast amounts of detail. Keeping that in mind, what I want to focus on today is the nature… Continue reading A Few Thoughts on Depression, Suicide and Support.
Wrist vibrates. Fitbit's telling me to wake up. Silenced. “Abandoned. Abusive. Alone. Arrogant. Annoying. Bastard. Boring. Burden. Exhausted. Failure. Fake. Forgotten. Hurtful. Hypocrite. Meaningless. Rejected. Stupid. Trapped. Ugly. Waste. Weak. Worthless." I did not invite this. An invasion has taken place upon my mind. Before I smell the morning brew I can taste the familiar bitterness of… Continue reading The Siege of a Saint. Morning’s Madness.